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Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 10:04 am
Notes towards a definition of "moronic cynicism"

I've made quite a few passing references to "moronic cynicism", but never really defined what I mean by the term. Perhaps it's self-explanatory, but just in case it isn't, here are my Notes towards a definition of "moronic cynicism".

Moronic cynicism is a form of naivete. It's naivete turned inside out, naivete with a sneer. Imagine a child smoking a cigarette.

The girl on the left is not a moronic cynic.

Moronic cynics wonder why the girl's T shirt doesn't say "Hate" or "Cocaine" or "Fuck" or have a dead person's skull on it.

The moronic cynic uses cynicism as a way to prepare for the worst. The worst consequently arrives.

To be cynical is to be on the side of the worst, to think with its logic and to see with its eyes.

For the moronic cynic (and the shareholder) the bottom line is always money.

Moronic cynic, you will become the monster you claim to fight!

Passive aggression, self-destructiveness and negative capability are close cousins to moronic cynicism.

Moronic cynicism is still believing that there's a big simple thing called truth, then saying "They're lying to us!"

Moronic cynicism is splitting up with someone then sending 100 pizzas to their house rather than staying friends.

Moronic cynicism is telling the tale to your pals on a bulletin board and getting lots of applause for your malice.

"You should have kicked her in the teeth while you were at it!"

Moronic cynicism is taking a vaguely "No Logo" stance towards capitalism, but then working for a big marketing company, exacting your revenge on "the Man" and "the System" by frittering away your working hours on the internet and, when you're finally and understandably fired, stealing something.

"You should have set the place on fire!" say your pals on the bulletin board.

Moronic cynicism is attacking both the consumers and the companies that supply their needs. "Wake up!" you scream to people who are already awake, thank you very much!

Moronic cynicism is seeing the entire people, government and institutions of a nation as possessing some kind of "original sin".

Moronic cynicism is joining the mosque and carrying the bomb in your backpack because the world is evil.

Moronic cynicism is intervening in a contract because you think you understand the real needs of the participants better than they do themselves.

Moronic cynicism is thinking it's wrong to say bad stuff about women, but fine to say bad stuff about men.

Moronic cynicism is telling women of another culture that they're "exploited" because they're not as cynical as you are, and then finding yourself stereotyping them with words like "compliant" and "submissive" and "cute".

Hey, you're saying worse things about them than anybody in their culture does, and you still want them to be grateful for your advice?

Moronic cynicism wonders why the phone never rings.

The girl on the right is not a moronic cynic.

Moronic cynicism is "enlightened false consciousness" as outlined by Peter Sloterdijk: "that modernized, unhappy consciousness, on which enlightenment has labored both successfully and in vain. It has learned its lessons in enlightenment, but it has not, and probably was not able to, put them into practice. Well-off and miserable at the same time, this consciousness no longer feels affected by any critique of ideology; its falseness is already reflexively buffered... To act against better knowledge is today the global situation in the superstructure; it knows itself to be without illusions and yet to have been dragged down by the "power of things." Thus what is regarded in logic as a paradox and in literature as a joke appears in reality as the actual state of affairs. Thus emerges a new attitude of consciousness toward "objectivity." Peter Sloterdijk. Critique of Cynical Reason, University of Minnesota Press, 1987.

Moronic cynicism is thinking "empowerment" is acting on your own behalf rather than on the behalf of others.

Moronic cynicism is the narcissistic mindset of a fragmented individual in a culture where all individuals resemble each other, and everybody is secretly miserable.

Moronic cynicism is the secular version of Protestant "worldly asceticism". Hold back from the world, young puritan, for it is evil!

The moronic cynic flexes his muscles by criticizing marketing, then becomes a marketer himself. "I am evil," he says, and hates himself. His hate spreads out from the centre, from his wretched self-loathing, and becomes a concentric series of vicious circles, a whirlpool of pointless negativity.

The moronic cynic's pleasures are always guilty pleasures.

The moronic cynic cannot stand innocence because it reminds him of himself. He pisses on it as soon as he sees it.

The moronic cynic believed Michael Jackson was guilty all along. Of course! He would have corrupted those kids in the same situation.

The moronic cynic is not attracted to things because they are beautiful, but because they are forbidden.

The moronic cynic believes that [insert name of endangered species here] are already extinct and feels slightly disappointed to hear that populations are rising.

The moronic cynic would find the wholesomeness of this blog completely disgusting.

The moronic cynic suddenly falls in love one day with someone who isn't cynical at all.

The opposite of moronic cynicism is love.

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auto_appendix
Jason Weaver
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC)

Thanks, Nick. Those last two lines just described my summer!


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ortho_bob
ortho_bob
Florian Bongo-Trapazoid QC
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:24 pm (UTC)

Hmm, seems a bit of a self-righteous catch-all label for everything you don't happen to like today. Not that I don't agree with your dismay at most of these things, but dismissing them all as part of the same mindset is a bit glib. And any concept that tries to put terrorists and people who piss their work hours away on the internet is a bit too silly for me....


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dickumbrage
dickumbrage
Dick Umbrage
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)

isn't describing these people as "moronic" a bit cynical?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC)

It's not so much a group of people as a mindset I'm describing. I'm quite capable of it myself. For instance, if you say "Mariko Mori" I'm likely to reply not by talking about her work but by saying "Of course, you know her uncle is Mori the property tycoon?"


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kattullus
kattullus
Kári Tulinius
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:31 pm (UTC)

I think you're conflating the people who don't get that Fight Club is a comedy with the people who actually go out and blow shit up.

While both categories are filled with people less smart than they think they are, they're hardly in the same moral category.

That being said, cynicism is damn annoying.


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djm4
djm4
David Matthewman
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)

I think he's found a handy and accurate label to apply to all such people. That doesn't mean that they're all in the same moral category.


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anglerfish96
anglerfish96
anglerfish96
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)
You're talking about a dogmatic reactive mindset...

Yeah, it's annoying. But we all get trapped in it, right? The "moronic cynic" is in all of us because we choose to hold on to what's comfortable and that which validates our egos. It keeps progress at bay on an individual and a cultural level. We all are caught in our private cages. Some people choose to pursue escape. Others never even see the possibility. Others complain about complainers.


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(Anonymous)
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:51 pm (UTC)

And what is the antidote to moronic cynicism in your opinion? The antonym - 'enlightened optimism', perhaps? How does that appear in a rundown?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)

I'm a great believer in "moronic positivity". It's much preferable. Hello, Kitty!


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(Anonymous)
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)

I thought that negative capability was something like the ability to tolerate uncertainty rather than grasping after facile "truths." I don't understand how negative capability, thus understood, has anything to do with moronic cynicism. If anything, it seems _un_like it. Is there another kind of "negative capability" out there, or some subtle distinction that I am missing with respect to this sort?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:57 pm (UTC)

The phrase "negative capability" comes from the poet John Keats, who defined it as:

"when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason"

In other words it's an a priori assumption of gloom and a denial of the empirical facts of a given situation. I think this tallies perfectly well with other items in my checklist, like the assumption that Endangered Animal X is already extinct just because "shit happens, it's the way of the world".


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(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand






facehead2k
facehead2k
facehead2k
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)

The guilty pleasures point is a very interesting one. It's certainly a large part of midwestern America. The unifying force behind the American conscience probably is guilt. As I matured, my catholic guilt was replaced by liberal guilt. Guilt is probably the rickety bridge between the religious right and more secular left.

I do think it's a bit harder to link (by way of moronic cynicism) terrorists to people who don't advertise certain preferences in art, literature, or pornography. While I do identify with a couple of these cynicisms, I can't be defensive. The definition sounds very broad. Even your journal's rants about Other Music, London, New York, and America. Isn't there some cynicism to voting with one's feet. Moronic cynicism may encompass everyone but Jonathan Richman and [info]miss_mcdonald


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dobrovolets
dobrovolets
dobrovolets
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)

As soon as this post started, a tingling feeling at the back of my neck told me to expect a Sloterdijk reference, overt or implicit, and I was right. My question, then, is, why do you append the modifier "moronic" to cynicism? In your view, is there a non-moronic cynicism which is different in certain key respects from enlightened false consciousness?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:04 pm (UTC)

I append "moronic" for somewhat proprietorial, judgemental and practical reasons. If I just called this cynicism, everyone would know what I was talking about. I wanted to mint a new meme, a meme which does devastatingly judgemental work as it rips through the world. "Ah, that sounds like "moronic cynicism" to me!" people will say, and other people will bristle and wonder if they are guilty of some new kind of sin.

But I do believe that cynicism is a meme in its own right, and has become totally reflexive, a kneejerk reaction. We need to fight that meme with a "killer meme" which destroys it. People would be much happier if they started constructing virtuous circles instead of vicious ones. Positivity grows exponentially, just as negativity does. Actually, that observation is the basis of most religions and philosophies.


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ortho_bob
ortho_bob
Florian Bongo-Trapazoid QC
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 02:55 pm (UTC)

I suspect your "moronic cynicism" is a modern secular version of accidie.


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lord_whimsy
lord_whimsy
lord_whimsy
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:01 pm (UTC)

A printed hard copy of this post is good for one ride on my highwheel.


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reptilebrain
reptilebrain
Adam
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC)

How can someone who acts wholly in self-interest be an ascetic? Also, what about all the cynical "poor" people I know and know of? They seem to think that nature is in fact red in tooth and claw, yet are very happy-go-lucky in their day-to-day life.


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC)

Because acting according to your own interest makes you withdraw from the world, hate yourself, and hate the world. Hence you become a recluse, a misanthrope, an ascetic.


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alionunderaw
alionunderaw
Øchu Øchu
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:07 pm (UTC)

Moronic cynicism is thinking it's wrong to say bad stuff about women, but fine to say bad stuff about men

I was hoping to say something similar!


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2sixteen
2sixteen
2sixteen
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:09 pm (UTC)

You wouldn't be related to Brian Koontz by any chance?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)

The volunteer fire fighter? No, but perhaps he could extinguish the fire in your user picture.


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cargoweasel
cargoweasel
Cargo
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)

well said, very well said. I'd add:

moronic cynics like to act harsh and hostile in order to prove to others that the world is a harsh and hostile place. thus, they make the world a harsh and hostile place.


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butterflyrobert
butterflyrobert
RND
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 07:56 pm (UTC)

The perfect description!


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cargoweasel
cargoweasel
Cargo
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)

For the moronic cynic (and the shareholder) the bottom line is always money.

I'm not sure about that one. I think the bottom line for the moronic cynicism is rage, rage at a world that ignores them. "I'm angry!" screams the kid wearing skulls and vandalizing a website or a car. "Listen to me!"


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janez
janez
Mrs. Average
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:50 pm (UTC)

Don't you think that the moronic cynicism is a phase in person's growing? On early stage - in Beavis&Butthead age?


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xydexx
xydexx
▼▼▼ The Department Of Cute And Weird: Xydexx ▼▼▼
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC)
You *are* a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Came here via [info]cargoweasel. Hope you don't mind me linking to this, that was really cool.


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cityramica
cityramica
cityramica
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC)

is a moronic cynic capable of happiness?


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cityramica
cityramica
cityramica
Fri, Jul. 15th, 2005 02:35 am (UTC)

p.s. i'm curious...would you fall into this category in your own eyes? i don't mean to ask that as an insult it just seems like you might at times...as might much of your fan-base?


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peripherus_max
peripherus_max
peripherus_max
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:09 pm (UTC)
Killing Myself To Live.

I've found that the most offensive thing that you can say to a moronic cynic is that they are "suspiciously unaffected." Of course, such a phrase is easily co-opted and will probably end up on one of the moronically cynical T-shirts at tshirthell.com. Moronic cynicism is also disturbing to me personally because it sounds a lot like grunge attitude with the addition of bling. Like an unread Adbusters placed on a coffeetable at a vegan dinnerparty. And, just out of curiosity, is Chuck Klostermann a moronic cynic?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Killing Myself To Live.

That's a good point, "You're suspiciously unaffected". I think it makes clear that moronic cynicism is basically a defensive position. It's about being ready for the worst rather than actively campaigning for the best.


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antitype
antitype
dust
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:19 pm (UTC)

The moronic cynic suddenly falls in love one day with someone who isn't cynical at all.

So what happens when this moronic cynic falls in love with someone not cynical at all, and this someone suddenly heads out on a road trip around America, possibly never to return? (Should we disregard the fact that this wonderfully not-cynical person slept with the moronic cynic, and yet was never in love with him?)

It's difficult to accept love as the answer when, you know, it's not there. Life becomes a struggle to avoid the pit of negativity and self-hatred, and one ends up floundering somewhere in the middle (as usual).

Wouldn't the answer to/the opposite of moronic cynicism then be hope?


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antitype
antitype
dust
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC)

I should clarify: I'm not sure that I ought to refer to myself as a true "moronic cynic", because I do have hope (along with my despair) and I do want to be happy. I feel closeness with another human being is one of the best things life has to offer, and to cut myself off from any chance of partaking of this would be moronic cynicism. Right?


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(Anonymous)
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC)

Momus, does your brother read your journal?


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imomus
imomus
imomus
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC)

I often wish he did, but I fear the answer is no. I've invited him to come here and comment many times, but, unless he's one of my much-loved "Anonymous Detractors", he never has.


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josephnoh
ramen
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC)

wow that was a good read


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hello_sailor
Christina
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)

I made the same mistake of writing something essentialist a few weeks back, but instead of dividing the moronic cynics from 'innocent people,' I divided people who have orgasms from those who don't. My point was that people who think orgasms are bad or whatever make it hard for those who have orgasms, especially women. But then it escalated into 'people who don't have orgasms are evil,' which wasn't the point whatsoever. The women on my list were very nice about the whole thing while the only flack I got was from men. Even when women don't have orgasms, they understand the quest to have them and/or the quest to escape judgment, so I realized I was more united with them than not. I don't think a lot of men supported me (well, one did) because they don't understand how having orgasms can be held against you.

But the point is that in being reactionary, you are sticking yourself into a very familiar framework, which is disappointing and not complex. I find little more depressing than that Beatles song because it advocates all has been done in this world artistically (that is too depressing for anyone who has any interest in the arts, nevermind devotes her entire life to them) and that, as [info]antitype pointed out, all will be solved once you find someone you can love, if you can, which is really more relativistic than empowering.

All of us liked you in your skirt much better than those guys with the bad facial hair and skull-and-bones t-shirts, so I don't see what the problem is. Reading literature, the daily newspaper, etc., is so evidently superior to having read every Noam Chomsky and Naomi Klein book out there and being like, "I know what the truth is. I don't need history!"


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mostlymeat
mostlymeat
mostlymeat
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 04:47 pm (UTC)

Actually I don't believe MJ was guilty. Other than that though, spot-on description!


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(Anonymous)
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)

moronic cynicism is believing that if someone doesn't agree with you. they're wrong.

trevor.


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(Anonymous)
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005 06:43 pm (UTC)

trevor. you're an idiot. take it personal.


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