The latest Momus mp3 is Corkscrew King.

Sorry, this track is no longer available. Please buy the CD when it comes out!

It's a song about impotence. Now, impotence is a serious affliction, but it's slightly less serious when it affects a spoiled old feudal lord who practises 'sekuhara' (sexual harrassment) on his courtly ladies and concubines. It's less serious when you're both an idiot and a famous comedy character. This song runs together Ken Shimura's Bakatono and Henna Ojiisan roles and mixes the resulting Frankenstein's monster with the poet W.B. Yeats, who believed potency and creativity were closely linked and, in old age, had a Steinach operation to revitalize his failing virility. He also got tight with a guru called Mr Swami who taught him about tantric sex in Majorca: "The Yogi, dressed in bright pink and looking like a bright carnation, sat with his hands folded on his ample paunch."

If you're one of the people who helped me brainstorm this song yesterday, it's yours for free. Otherwise, it's a dollar. Cheaper than Viagra! (Not necessarily guaranteed to make you hard, though.)

Corkscrew King

Bakatono bakemono henna ojisan
Gamushara sekuhara henna ojisan

The king is in the winter, in the winter of his prime
Welcome to the kingdom of the Corkscrew King
See him pour a jet of wine across a concubine
See him try in vain to plunge the corkscrew in

See him eat sashimi from a naked woman's breast
See him drink wakame sake from her sex
Send in all the dancing girls and send in all the wine
He's impotent, omnipotent, and only 69

Send in Dr Mojo who can turn back time
Send in more Viagra to halt the decline
When you're 69 the sky is overcast
The castle flag is flying... half mast
The gate is shut, the canon blocked
The flower they fire at one o'clock half-cocked
The tower flops, the blossom drops
The king will play the shamisen

Bakatono bakemono henna ojisan
Gamushara sekuhara henna ojisan

The Yogi Dr Swami with his hand upon his thing
Guru by appointment to the Corkscrew King
Says 'A badger in the hand is worth a badger in the bush
A badger down your pants, you've got to push push push'

An aged man, the poet says, is but a paltry thing
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless he sing
So clap your hands for every wrinkle in your mortal dress
Join the throng and dance along with the Corkscrew King

Send in Dr Mojo who can turn back time
The castle flag is flying and the weather's fine
But when you're 69 the sky is overcast
The castle flag is flying... half mast
The gate is shut, the canon blocked
The flower they fire at one o'clock half-cocked
The tower flops, the blossom drops
The king will play the shamisen

I'm off to Helsinki now for a sound art festival and performance (details here, along with news of forthcoming Momus shows in Hong Kong and Tokyo), back in a few days!