?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Employee of the month - click opera
February 2010
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
 
 
 
 
 
 
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:51 pm
Employee of the month


Thogerson Hoy, bank official. "People are strange when you're a stranger," sang Jim Morrison. They're even stranger when you're scrolling around a 1051x1557 pixel employee photograph on a corporate website.


Michael Farrah, head of printers, peripherals, AV and displays. He's the head of peripherals, and this is the periphery of his head. I am in a lunar lander, slowly descending towards its surface. Scroll right! Scroll left! Survey the terrain! Shall I plant a national flag here, or a corporate logo?


Barry Atkinson, head of SMB sales. He's sideways. You approach him from the left across what looks like a blue-and-white checked tablecloth, then discover that his face is brown. Everyone in a suit and tie is a pragmatist and a puritan. Click the picture to explore!


Sarah Percy, head of marketing. Hyper-realism, Neue Sachlichkeit, the images they showed on Manhattan Cable TV after 9/11. The employee as missing person, the employee as dead person, the employee photograph as uncanny memorial, the smile fixed and frozen, grotesque and poignant in the newspaper. I've never had a job. I've never had to die for the company.


Jonathan Schwartz, unspecified computer executive. Hair is funny when you examine it close up, just like a word is strange when you repeat it one hundred times. The unheimlich, the uncanny, irony, detachment, alienation. Is it just a matter of getting too close or too far away? Is "normal" only normal at the appropriate viewing distance, under the appropriate lighting, from the appropriate angle? What a frail thing "normality" is, then!


Greg Stroud, unspecified computer executive. To the Japanese, we have a tall nose, round eyes, a red skin. Do we look like pigs? Are the pores of our skin too big? Do we have a distinctive smell, the smell of a foreigner? Can you smell us standing beside you on the train?


Øystein Thøgersen, bank employee. Rembrandt watched his own face decay in a mirror, painting it in a prolonged act of dispassionate scrutiny. Every photograph or mirror contains a bit of death alongside the pride, shame, embarrassment, surprise.


Vivi Lassen, bank employee. Do people frighten you? Do you have to master yourself when you speak to someone across a desk? Are old people more frightening than young people? Are people with jobs more frightening than people you meet randomly? Which is more scary, a stranger or a friend?


Michael R. Robertson, director, human resources. Have you heard of the photographer Thomas Ruff? Some of these employee pictures remind me of his work. What do the bodies of the disembodied look like? When someone has power, do I cease to see their body? Is it uncharitable to look closely at an employee's body? If you prick me, do I not bleed? I'm just looking, thanks.

39CommentReplyShare

loosechanj
loosechanj
LooseChanj
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:10 pm (UTC)

Best imomus post evar.


ReplyThread
klasensjo
klasensjo
klasensjo
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)

Michael Farrah, head of printers, peripherals, AV and displays. He's the head of peripherals, and this is the periphery of his head. I am in a lunar lander, slowly descending towards its surface. Scroll right! Scroll left! Survey the terrain! Shall I plant a national flag here, or a corporate logo?
:D
This post is one of the best I have seen on LJ. Momus, you plastic, fantastic popster. We sent you into orbit around the earth, to observe, so we could understand ourselves better.


ReplyThread
stanleylieber
stanleylieber
Stanley Lieber
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:19 pm (UTC)

It's not hate if we question. Which one are you saying is Chris_B?


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:47 pm (UTC)

Ha ha, yes, I'll admit that I found these astonishingly high resolution employee photos while googling for this image of what I imagined Chris_B to look like, based on his Neomarxisme posts. I thought he would go ballistic when I posted the comment and the link, but he didn't seem to think it was too insulting. Which makes me think that there are two completely different languages running alongside each other, the rational-symbolic language where we all think we share the same terms and can defend our positions the way we would when we play chess, and the visual-associative language. The first is a language of universals, a rational language of thoughts, the second a language of specifics, an emotional language of textures and the feelings they evoke.

You know, it sounds cruel or dismissive, but I feel I've spent about 5 years on the internet arguing with people on the mistaken assumption that because we share a language we share a culture -- people who I probably wouldn't have made that assumption about if I'd seen them, and if they'd looked like Pablo in the photo above. Now, there's a good and bad side to this. The illusion of universality is a uniting one that draws me into debate with people I would otherwise hardly interact with. On the other hand, I'm very much a textural-emotional-aesthetic animal. I relate to the world based very much on how it looks, tastes, feels, and I trust my instincts. If something tastes bad, or someone is poorly presented, I veer away. I assume we can't share a worldview. This can sound harsh and snobby, and it does mean that communication might be limited to interaction with people who think the same way as you do, or whom you idealize successfully. It's an ongoing issue in my thinking, this, but I suspect my emotions will win in the end: texture will win over text, and instinct over reason, and form over content.


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)

On the other hand, you seem to spend hours and hours of every day on the internet, which remains possibly the most text-heavy means of dialogue known to man!


ReplyThread Parent
freesurfboards
freesurfboards
freesurfboards
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC)

intellectualism seems like a particular aesthetic anyway - not to mention that the internet is very visual.
even at something like maddox's website the pure text is a nice picture and before we notice the content, we notice the overall layout of the text.


ReplyThread Parent
flyonawndshield
flyonawndshield
John
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 10:43 am (UTC)

Yes, but under all formats are codes of text, so I think it all returns on itself in a way.

I think the internet is a poor way to judge one's character though, because text is a such a poor representation unless you do it well (as Momus does). It's very easy for even simple sentences to be miscommunicated in the heat of instant messaging, chat, or silly LJ comments. Sure, you CAN use emotes to provide some emotional input into the text, but those can make you look childish and dull.

The best defense against this is simply throwing your computer out the window, saving yourself from a poor substitute to genuine human contact.


ReplyThread Parent
charleshatcher
charleshatcher
charleshatcher
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC)

This latter paragraph is very saddening indeed.


ReplyThread Parent
stanleylieber
stanleylieber
Stanley Lieber
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 11:41 pm (UTC)

Momus as object of beauty. Does one argue with a statue?

Thank you for communicating this. I think your aims are often misread.




ReplyThread Parent
mckibillo
mckibillo
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 06:39 am (UTC)

wow, what a tortured defense for basically what's just an example of passive aggressive bullying.

interesting post though.


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Sun, Mar. 27th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
Well

1st: great post.
2nd: Chris_B is a known minor troll of weblog comments. He is apparently a very unhappy resident of Japan, of african-american origin I seem to remember.
3rd: I don't think it is possible for most of us to effectively communicate with everyone, be the hindrance time or prejudice. I think the key is to keep one's eyes and ears open and try not to project one's biases too too much. Some days it works better than others. Some days I cannot bear to speak with the dimwit, some days I relish it...


ReplyThread Parent
scottbateman
scottbateman
Scott Bateman
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:23 pm (UTC)

Those are beautiful.

Though before I read the post, I thought the first one was Moby.


ReplyThread
jimyojimbo
jimyojimbo
Dr Jim
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 02:34 pm (UTC)

Ha ha! Yes. Moby dressed for his audience! </sarkiness> :-)


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Thu, Mar. 31st, 2005 10:50 am (UTC)

Freaky. Scott, it does look like Moby.

J.


ReplyThread Parent
jimyojimbo
jimyojimbo
Dr Jim
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 01:24 pm (UTC)



Your writing seems to have occluded a corporate transvestite! Ah well, from what I can see, he/she looks happy.

Great post!


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)

Thanks! May I say that this post is also an oblique celebration of the US launch (last night) of UK series The Office, which subjects office life to a series of Brechtian and non-Brechtian alienation devices. The success of the series in the US will depend, I think, on the willingness of Americans to see offices -- and employee photos -- as something very odd indeed.


ReplyThread Parent
jimyojimbo
jimyojimbo
Dr Jim
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC)

Yes. The American remake also seems to have spawned a bit of an odd response amongst a lot of reasonably savvy American critics - along the lines of "The US remake is really a very good US comedy! And we predict it will bomb!" There's that wonderful American optimism I often hear about. I am kind of curious about it though. I guess I'm going to have to go .torrent hunting.


ReplyThread Parent
ensenchiridion
ensenchiridion
an accordion of dos and cants
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC)

amused


ReplyThread
palux_negro
palux_negro
palux_negro
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 02:55 pm (UTC)

I used to collect that kind of corporate pics, the best ones for me were the pics of people with mustache.


ReplyThread
kementari2
kementari2
The green fuse
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 04:11 pm (UTC)

Thank you, this is wonderful.


ReplyThread
benchilada
benchilada
benjamin sTone
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC)

Well suave, my friend...


ReplyThread
kingdoma
kingdoma
Allan Kingdom
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 06:09 pm (UTC)

I love the fact that Jonathan Schwartz has a tiny crumb of something in his nostril.


ReplyThread
thetemplekeeper
thetemplekeeper
thetemplekeeper
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 06:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

Thanks, Momus: this is my favourite post so far! Gloriosa!


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)

west coast art school band meets Sears photo shoot
http://glitchslaptko.blogspot.com/2005/03/if-i-could-bring-just-one-band-from.html


ReplyThread
jennylampstand
jennylampstand
jen
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 08:05 pm (UTC)

bloody hell........ you really play with EVERYthing you come across with don't you

loved your post especially the way you arranged the pictures and text. cool


ReplyThread
sleepycaitlin
Caitlin
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 08:15 pm (UTC)

I used to have Jonathan Schwartz's hair (albeit in blonde)


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 08:30 pm (UTC)
BOOGER!

I SAW A BOOGER!!!


ReplyThread
shadowblue
Mike
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 08:42 pm (UTC)

Excellent post.


ReplyThread
toddejones
toddejones
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 10:44 pm (UTC)
new review of OTTO SPOOKY

Read my new review of OTTO SPOOKY:

http://www.cdreviews.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=480&Itemid=27


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC)
The Office Of Horrors

Do they have a company dry cleaning discount pod?
Sim City could do a version of this where hairs grow and marks get padded out? Shirts get stained and then cleaned. Develop hairstyles that get ruined in the wind and rain. Health checks and sun tans or trimmed mustaches and rosy cheeks. A little massage machine that roams over the forehead searching for tension spots.
A real joy to behold.




ReplyThread
yhancik
yhancik
yanou
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC)

ahah, i must agree with people here, that's one of the best post i've ever read on LJ :D


it reminds me when you search google images for "ceo" or "agreement".. ahhh the corporate imagery


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 07:39 am (UTC)

r. here again.
the REAL question that everyone SHOULD be asking is...at the top of Momus' Safari browser that's pictured containing each shot, there are his lists of URLS and prefs contained under headings that read, from left to right: Momus, Visuals, Radio, Books, Japan, etc.
now I ask ANYONE (you are included too, nick) to tell me what the eights one from the left says, and what kind of links/URLs it contains, because i have no idea, but would LOVE to know.
best,
r.
p.s. always look at the BIG picture, kids.


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 09:19 am (UTC)

It's the I Love Everything/Music board, isn't it?

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/newquestions.php?board=1

Probably has his favourite threads...


ReplyThread Parent
flyonawndshield
flyonawndshield
John
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 10:31 am (UTC)

brilliant. Just, brilliant.


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 11:54 am (UTC)

Merci, merci! I'm rather surprised that this entry has pleased everybody so much. I suppose it taps into something universal: the "scribble on the model's teeth" impulse. The other day Hisae and I were sitting in a Thai cafe in Prenzlauer Berg, a bit bored. We found a department store catalogue. Someone had already scribbled out some of the models' teeth, making them into proud harridans, and Hisae cracked up. Then we both took pens and started scribbling out more and more models' white teeth until they were all baring rotten fangs. There was something childish, but also liberating and subversive about this silly activity. Suddenly capitalism's self-confidence, its almost eugenic genetic superiority, lay in tatters. Symbolically, anyway.


ReplyThread Parent
flyonawndshield
flyonawndshield
John
Sat, Mar. 26th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)

I do that, but it's usually by scribbling in mustaches and devil horns on the most successful looking ones.


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Sun, Mar. 27th, 2005 09:55 am (UTC)
Non-LJ user, thus anonymous...

Stunning.

I haven't been thrilled like this in a long time. This reminded me of a great time on the WWW: discovering Osil8 and jodi and silverserver and netart and cDc and l0pht and and and...how did 8 years become a lifetime ago? Holy cow!

(Aside: yeah, I like Ruff, but I've been to his shows in SoHo in the late 80's/early 90's, and the physicality of the actual prints somehow made them more sterile for me. These corporate PR photos have a more unsettling quality, probably because of the medium, I guess, dunno...)

What a treat! Thanks, Nick!


ReplyThread
anti_peace_riot
anti_peace_riot
Mon, Mar. 28th, 2005 04:51 am (UTC)

One of the best posts I've ever read and a very happy welcome from a weekend trip!


ReplyThread
hans_lucas
hans_lucas
hans_lucas
Mon, Mar. 28th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)

The equivalent here, at least where I live, are pictures of real estate agents. Most of them look like they stopped at a funeral parlor before getting their pictures done.


ReplyThread