my partner is disgustingly talentedhttps://www.behance.net/gallery/1873009/The-Owl-The-Pussycathttps://www.behance.net/gallery/5682739/Discovery-Media-Planning-Dictionary
and refers to me as the artist in our relationship!!!
a farce. it's a dumb stupid loving relationship with great sex and we play music together and ~talk about our feelings~ and there's complete reverence + respect for the loving relationship i already have. i am waiting for the catch, the catch beyond "i probably have to leave in a year and a half" and the catch beyond "the loving relationship i already have is usually monogamous" and the catch beyond "i might want children". aren't those enough catches.
the catch beyond "when he does date other people i'm gonna freak the fuck out". but he'll tell me, and i'll have the opportunity to confront those feelings and not be fucking blindsided
imagine someone being that smart and politically attuned and wanting to hear and know my opinion and to navigate disagreements and learn from one another. imagine there being room for two talented + funny people in a relationship.
it's dumb but as soon as he heard about the westminster attack he texted me to make sure i was ok and tell me he loves me. even though i left his flat not long after him to go to school. and really i actually completely believed it.
it's calming to me to think of all the things i love about him, to think of all the things i love about martin, how some of these things are the same and some very different. i share with martin this sort of uptightness, this primness, that i really love. martin is the funniest human being i have ever met or will ever meet. they share empathy, strong moral principles, compassion, kindness. these are the things i value most in people, so it's unsurprising.
i am so exhausted. so tired of myself. i have my last day of lectures for the term tomorrow and then my last day of this placement on friday. really relieved. ultimately it was rewarding and i learned a lot. i'll miss my kids. i have to write 600 more words or so for this coursework by sunday, but that's a pretty good timeline. i haven't been late with any of my coursework yet. the thing i need to work most on is studying for psychology/linguistics exam, since i missed like 2 months (!!!) of lectures. linguistics was really poorly taught and they never passed around a register so i stopped going. :/
i'm going to do birthday times for pear with gabbu on friday and then i'm going to hebden bridge sunday-thursday with gram to babysit some needy corgi-mixes. we might re-record some of my stuff! with bass and drums!http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39359158
this was brought up towards the end of lecture today, really simply as a "don't go toward westminster because transport will be fucked", and the tutor barely acknowledged it. she was pretty much like "moving on..."
it's scary and sad. and relatedly it's scary that idiots like my landlord will use things like this to justify their idiotic racist abuse.