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July 9th, 2006
Sun, Jul. 9th, 2006 07:12 am

A couple of weeks ago, citing Metabolist architect Kiyonori Kikutake's idea that "a Japanese room is determined by information, whereas a Western room relies on objects", I informed the world rather grandly that "my new apartment in Neukolln is going to be very "Japanese" in that sense: a corridor and two rooms stuffed to the gullet with information".

Now comes the pleasant moment when I have to design that. I don't yet have the information in the apartment (it's still very much a white shell, while the information -- in the form of books, CDs, records, magazines -- lies in various storage locations), but I have made a decision on the practicalities of the "stuffing to the gullet" bit. In a stunningly hypocritical reversal after my many condemnations of pluricide, I've resorted to a solution provided by the world's most monocultural furniture outlet, Ikea. I've started buying flatpacked Trissas, and I will fill my whole apartment with these stackable Trissas, which are sold as 12" LP crates, but can be turned into just about anything; a table, a shelving unit, storage boxes, lighting housing...



This might be the moment to repeat a black little joke I was telling as part of my unreliable tour of the Whitney. In the Steven Parrino room I announced: "There's bad news and good news in this room. The bad news is that the artist unfortunately passed away last year. The good news is that Ikea are making some of his three-dimensional works available as flatpacks. Of course, they've been given new names for the Ikea range. This one is called Svendqvist, and that one is Nordstam."

The last laugh, of course, belongs to Ikea. Assembling these flatpack Trissas has stripped the skin off my fingers and given me blisters... signed with a loving kiss, straight from the heart of the monoculture.

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