?

Log in

No account? Create an account
click opera
February 2010
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
 
 
 
 
 
 
Page 1 of 3
[1] [2] [3]
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 03:09 pm
I wish I hadn't shaved off my hair!

1. Every few years I shave my head. The first time I did it was when I was 26, and had just signed to Creation. I wanted to look harder, less bourgeois. The next time I did it was when I was 33. You can see it on the Pierre et Gilles Timelord cover. There was another shave when I was 40 and living in New York, and another four years later. I did it again this weekend.

2. It's not like you suddenly say to yourself "I know, I want to look bald!" or "I want to resemble Namihei, the father in Sazae-San!" But sometimes you get the sudden impulse to do it. To shave it all off! For the way it feels!



3. It was really hot and humid last week. Hisae was out at the dentist. I was shaving my stubble with my American electric shaver as usual, going up my sideburns. I went a little further up, then a little further.

4. At this point I should say that Hisae hates men with shaved heads. In fact, she's often told me that if I shave my head again, she'll leave me. So I was taking a risk. I'd have some explaining to do.

5. Nevertheless, I couldn't help pushing the warm, oiled, buzzing shaver further across the side of my head. The resulting fuzz felt so cool, so smooth! My heavy, hot hair fell to the floor soundlessly. It felt reckless, transgressive!



6. I played around with half-shaved styles for a while. Ha ha ha! Mohican! Bald uncle! Blind nutter!

7. When Hisae got back from the dentist, she was truly appalled. "I'm going to leave you!" she screamed. "That looks horrible! Who are you? Are you a monk?"

8. "Well, at least other girls won't like me now!" I said. "Yes, and neither will I!" retorted Hisae.

9. We eventually negotiated that I would wear Curly Carl, my performance wig, until my hair grew back.

10. We went out that evening to see Ben Butler and Mousepad play at Madame Claude's. I wore the wig. People looked at me very strangely. But they do that anyway.



11. When we got home, Hisae was in a more conciliatory mood. "The wig makes you look like you have cancer. It's okay not to wear it. I'll just wait patiently for your hair to return."

12. I both hate my new shave and love it.

13. Good points: It feels really nice and fresh. I feel streamlined, and I can feel excess heat just evaporating effortlessly away through the top of my head.

14. Bad points: It's really difficult to look good with a shaved head. I don't like how it looks, and I like even less how it's going to look in a couple of months, as it grows out. See the photo above with Kumi Okamoto, for instance. It's at that horrible standy-uppy phase. It'll be doing that in about three months from now.

15. My hair has been thinning for at least the last ten years. It's happening very, very slowly, but every time I shave my head I wonder "Will it grow back?" Each time it does I'm pleasantly surprised, even if it's clearly thicker in some areas than others.

16. I don't really like the hairline or the head shape a shave reveals: I have a pronounced widow's peak and a double crown.

17. Men try to compensate for having no hair by growing a big bead or wearing interesting spectacles (the red "Buggles" ones above belong to Emma Balkind), but they always just look like... men trying to compensate for having no hair.

18. On the other hand, lots of people have a ton of hair and still look crap. Yes!

19. In a sense, waiting for hair to grow back is condemning yourself to months of unhappiness with your own appearance. Was that spontaneous decision to shave really worth those months of pain?

20. At the same time there's something energising and delightful about a shaved head. It feels so good, so prickly, under your palm! People love to touch it! It's -- literally, if not stylistically -- cool!



21. I also notice that the times I've had a shaved head tend to correspond to times I've had a surprising amount of success with women. Even if I thought I looked bad, something seemed to appeal. I think one reason might be that when you have a shaved head you look like a huge, erect, walking penis. That works, you know, subliminally on women. When they look at you, something deep in their subconscious says "Penis!"

22. Despite the obvious compensation of "looking subliminally like a huge erect walking penis", I wish I hadn't shaved off my hair! Oh well, it'll grow back. Possibly.

70CommentReplyFlag


(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:10 pm (UTC)

Too bad I'd look like a nazi if I shaved my head completely bald. That I live in an area (northern saxony-anhalt) that has its issues with these people doesn't help a lot.
Super-short hair plus a few stubbles above the lips and on the chin might work though...


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:17 pm (UTC)

Have to agree with Hisae. You look dreadful. The Michael Stipe look makes you look like you have some terminal wasting disease.


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)

Yeah, every time I look at Stipe I can't help thinking "What a handsome man... if only he weren't bald!"


ReplyThread Parent Expand

geeveecatullus
geeveecatullus
clodia pulchra
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:24 pm (UTC)

Now I am tempted to shave my head, too!


ReplyThread

(no subject) - (Anonymous)
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC)

There's always the paint-by-numbers approach taken by Korean fashion guru André Kim:


ReplyThread Parent

(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand

(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)

I don't care how bald you are, I would still let you straddle me and stroke your huge penis until you spattered cum all over my beautiful face, while we listened to one of your albums and you hummed along.


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)

I'm pencilling you in for Thursday, 3pm, Jim. Unless of course Hisae doesn't leave me.


ReplyThread Parent

(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand

(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:44 pm (UTC)
17. Men try to compensate for having no hair by growing a big bead or wearing interesting spectacles

If you just leave it, most men end up with a lot of hair on their face and less on their head. Hair naturally migrates south as you grow older.

Incidentally, have you ever allowed your beard to grow longer than stubble? I think you'd really suit it. It looks very dignified.


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
Re: 17. Men try to compensate for having no hair by growing a big bead or wearing interesting specta

For some reason my beard comes through very coarse and prickly. It's agony to lie in bed, like resting your chin on a hedgehog.


ReplyThread Parent Expand


(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)

It's not going to be pretty when you're finally too bald to do anything but shave your head. Or maybe you'll go down the Berlusconi route.

My Dad had hair a bit like yours, very slowly thinning for years. Then in his mid-fifties it suddenly all fell out.


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)

you'll probably end up a baldy bassa too then


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)

you're making it very easy for Twit Opera


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)

I write all their best material.


ReplyThread Parent Expand

(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand

big penises - (Anonymous) Expand


Re: big penises - (Anonymous) Expand
cap_scaleman
cap_scaleman
cap_scaleman
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 03:12 pm (UTC)

Human penis momus, I got Yximalloo's Unpop in the mail yesterday and it slightly reminds me of the music made by Monsquaz.


ReplyThread
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 04:19 pm (UTC)

Hello Cap!

Nice piece of "failed design", that music!


ReplyThread Parent Expand

magick_temple
magick_temple
magick_temple
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 04:02 pm (UTC)

Well, I seem to be in a minority as usual but i think it suits you. You certainly look better than Stipe. Then again, of course, Hisae's opinion is rather more important than mine.

I actually think the standy-uppy phase looks pretty good on you too.

I'm with Hisae on the wig though... that looks dreadful.


ReplyThread

(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)

Momus, I did the same thing last month for pretty much the same reasons that you stated, and I also regret it! My hair has been falling out fast the last few years, so as it grows back it becomes painfully obvious how much hair I have lost. I'm afraid that a shaved head will be the norm for me in a few years.


ReplyThread

(no subject) - (Anonymous)
imomus
imomus
imomus
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 05:09 pm (UTC)

I was having a bad hair day at that AA lecture, I remember. Something to do with having no hair dryer in the hotel room. There's a photo somewhere, but it's too hideous for me to link to.


ReplyThread Parent Expand


(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand

(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand


(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)

don't worry, you're not really a dickhead. you just play one on the internet.
i'm only joking.

seriously though, for the time being it's a chance to cultivate a zen-monk look.
get a proper samu-e, some setta (or geta if you're really courageous) and settle
into some deep meditation practice for a while. you'd be surprised at the serene
states of mind that will follow.


ReplyThread
33mhz
33mhz
The Queen of Overdub Kisses
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)

I think you look perfectly fine with your head shaved, but some kind of crazy prince valiant/cindy sherman wig probably suits your stage persona a bit better.

I'm buzzing my hair very short and growing a big beard, but I never really considered it compensation so much as a matter of balance. But judging from my relatives, I'm probably always going to have a thick head of hair, so if I really wanted to "compensate" I could just grow my hair out again.

Edited at 2009-07-07 07:39 pm (UTC)


ReplyThread
anglerfish96
anglerfish96
anglerfish96
Tue, Jul. 7th, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)

I think the red glasses thing works.

And... who can blame compensation/quirkyness if it's done with style and wit?


ReplyThread